My Surrender

[Paintshopped]


Hello readers :) I hope you all are well. I wasn't feeling the best the last couple of days, so I didn't post any entries...But i'm feeling pretty good now, so I am posting this entry. :)


[Depth of Field, Cropped]

I would like to finally introduce you all to Kyle. :) He is my real life boyfriend whom I have managed to drag into my Second Life as well. He's fairly new to Second Life, but well...He has a fashionista girlfriend to help him shop ;). I think he enjoys Second Life. He gets to spend time with me when we can't physically be together. Second Life provides a great connection for people. If I can't be snuggled up with Kyle in real life, Second Life does a decent job in feeling the void. Even if we are together in real life, it is fun to go to clubs or hang out with friends in Second Life. Kyle even goes shopping with me sometimes, isn't he sweet? ;) On those days when he leaves my house for his, and I am not ready to say goodbye, at least I can remind myself about all of the possibilities for the night in the virtual world we share.

And now for a poem~

My Surrender

In the middle of the ocean,
the blue world stretches endlessly.

Water is a very versatile substance;
it isn't solid like a mirror, yet it creates reflections,
it contains air, yet it does not breathe,
it supports life, yet it can take it away.
  
The water is as dark as the sky,
as dark as death,
with only the refection of the yellow moon to give me hope.


I toss my arm high above my head once more,
my five digits spread to the point of pain.


Slowly, as if time is toying with me,
my arm sinks down into the water, 
my thumb, my pinkie, my index, my ring, my middle... 
and all hope is lost.


I kick and thrash in the icy waters of the night, 
my movements slowed down substantially in the heavy substance, 
my body slowed down  from the pain,
like a billion tiny needles pricking my skin over and over again.


My mind has given up on the moon;
the last bit of light on my darkest day, on hope, 
yet my body fights to stay alive
while I continue to sink deeper towards my watery grave. 

I am surrounded by blue;
a pretty blue. It sparkles like a fine dress in the moonlight. 
I have to remind myself that this beautiful substance has it's gorgeous grasp around my throat. 


Holding my breath has become futile, 
every gasp of air to live brings me closer to death.


I can only hear the sound of water in my ears;
much like when I used to dunk my head into the bath tub as a child,
or when dear mother washed my hair and always managed to spray my ears with the little bathroom hose.


Oh yes,
I remember when the man I love took me to the park that summer to go swimming.
I was very cautious that day;
I made sure not to drown, to not get hurt, to stay alive for him. I wanted to stay close to him.


My vision becomes hazy
I cannot move, breathe, think. 


I see in my blurry vision the moon from under the water; 
a bright white light that is almost blinding from all of the darkness. 


I close my eyes and surrender.  


------------------

[Depth of Field, Cropped]

Did I mention the great Tai Chi place Kyle and I found? Invite a group of your friends and to Tai Chi in sync here!

Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself on my blog today. :) Take care!

- Inuoko Shikami \o/

Skin: Laq - Imani2 - 05 [Cocoa] Glow Skin (hairbase)
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