Cheated

[Paintshopped]

 "Life is too hard...
...But it was a bit easier...
With you...


Don't write R.I.P on my headstone...
My only peace was with you..."

Hello lovelies!

If the font in the photo looks familar, then you've probably seen the anime Death Note.. ;)

Hmm...where do we begin?

I think i'll start off about how Second Life cheated me tonight. I was tryingggg to be a good girl, and do my shopping when...BAM! Disconnected. :( *super sad face* I try to log in several times, and I fail time and time again. After a while, I finally manage to log in and when I do I am at one of the Hubs (you know when a region is down or something and you get teleported to the laggiest place ever), and I am prompted to pick my avatar gender as if I am a newbie...Yes, I died inside. I quickly logged back out, hoping for no permanent damage was done to my inventory. Out of being scared to death, I wait a little while before checking the Grid Status Report:

[POSTED 9:37 PM PDT, 30 October 2011] We are currently undergoing unscheduled maintenance that will result in some Residents not being able to login and some Residents already inworld may be logged out. It will also prevent inventory from loading. Please keep an eye on this blog post for updates.

\o/ So I find out it's not just me, and I feel happy. So I wait patiently with some dubstep playing (\o/ dubstep), started working on the photos for this entry (took them before the disconnection), and shortly I was able to log in again to finish shopping! \o/

How was I cheated? Second Life cheated me out of shopping time! Ugh, it's so late now!!!!

Now....Really about cheating...

Yes, i'm referring to cheating within relationships.  

 Life is too hard...

...But it was a bit easier...

With you...

Don't write R.I.P on my headstone...

My only peace was with you...

Have you ever been cheated on? I have, several times.
If it is a person you truly love who cheats on you,
then it is not something one can just shrug off as nothing. 

My  body grows cold,

from inside to out, 

from my heart to my skin,

frozen like ice.  

For a moment I cannot
breathe or think;
my body unsure how to react
though it has been through this before.

My body reminds me to breathe,
and I have a panic attack;
only making trying to breathe worse.

Tears run down my cheeks
as I wrap my arms around my torso
just for sanity,
just so that, at that moment, I don't feel so alone.

When I manage to calm myself a bit,
I curl up in bed with my favorite blanket,
just me and her royal softness, fragrance.

She calms me down a bit,
yet the tears still flow,
 and I think about him.

I ask myself what I did to deserve
 such hurt, such mistrust?

My heart races so fast,
I can literally hear it pumping at an unnatural speed.
Each thump hurts;
taking the  pain from being betrayed and turning it
into a reminder that it happened while I try to sleep,
try to forget.

What did I do?
Am I not good enough?
Am I a bad person?
Am I ugly?
Am I not loveable?
What?

Every possible reason runs through my head,
the thumping of my heart isn't loud enough to drown out my thoughts.

The next day I miss him, so badly.
I want him back.
I want everything to go back to the way things were before I found out.
I don't care if he still cheats, I just don't want to know.

I feel bad because I love him to such an extent that
I am willing to live a lie, a fantasy, just to stay in his arms.

Yet, I know that that is not the type of person I am.
Like I could trust him again?

I have to fight my fears of loneliness and let go, move on.

And the sad part is?
 Even after I move on, he doesn't want to let go.

------

Well I am guessing that poem needs some touching up but well..It's late, so it may have to stay that way until after some shut-eye...meaning you probably wont see the finished product..sorry..Hey, it wasn't supposed to be a poem anyway haha. *yawns and hugs*


[Cropped]

I know it's a bit early in the game to go buying outfits, making it even harder to be original, but when I  saw this outfit by "Epic" at last Grenade Wednesday sale, I had to buy it. And come on; no way I could break up such an awesome outfit. ;)


[Cropped]

I have a hotel in Second Life by the way...Joint ownership. It's called "Inuoko Sunset Hotel". I'm more of a manager than anything...Anyway, I was pressed for time for the photos for this entry, plus I plan to take the Halloween decorations down Tuesday sharp (the day after Halloween), soooo I figured I would make use of something. If you look in the background, you'll see Kyle ;) He was messing around with another item, and got caught in the shot lol.

On a quick note: I made Inuoko's breasts smaller..haha. Always making little shape edits these days...

It's sooo late! Night peeps~

- Inuoko Shikami \o/


Skin: Laq - Imani2 - 04 [Cocoa] Glow Skin (hairbase)
Shape: Own Custom Shape (Tall Version)
Headband: *BOOM* Halloween Headbands
Hair: Exile Iona for the Dressing Room Blue *New, TDR*
Earrings: [ glow ] studio Amore Earrings *New, TDR*
Necklace: [glow] Studio Necklace - Taurus TDR *New, TDR*
Shirt: *Epic* {GFW} Basic Open Striped Henleys {Autumn Pack} *New, Grenade Wednesday*
Belt: *COCO* Wide Waist Belt Black
Pants: *Epic* {GFW} Story High-Waisted Jeans {Chocolate} *New, Grenade Wednesday*
Nails: [EY:NO] Halloween Nails *Gift*
Heels: Mstyle RIVEA Pumps - Halloween Queen *ONLY 1L! Hurry!*