Monday, July 02, 2012
Tips on Boosting Self Confidence
Hello peeps! Above is just a few shots I took at my new house, hee hee. I'm enjoying the place so far...
Anyway, I talked to a friend recently about self confidence. We had both admitted to lacking it during our teen years, but with some work, regained it. Today I will share a few simple tips on how to have good self confidence (in no particular order). Already do? Well, these tips may still come in handy before a job interview, or any other moment when many of us are not at our best in the self confidence department.
1) The Mirror: This is my Ace, so i've decided to share it first. When I lacked self confidence, what helped me the most was my bathroom mirror each morning. I made sure to point out something nice about myself that day. If my skin seemed prettier than normal, I would point that out (I have eczema on my face, so pretty skin meant a lot to me). If my hair looked healthy and shiny, or soft, or perhaps I managed to get my hair into a pretty hairstyle, I would tell myself that. If I had put together a nice outfit, I could point that out to myself too. There are plenty of things one can point out about themselves..just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what's pretty that day.
2) The Mirror - Improvement: If "The Mirror" works for you, which I have good faith that it will, then i'd take it a step further by making small self improvements. Again, nothing wrong with caring about your looks. If a certain facial scrub worked the day before, i'd of course try it again the next day for the same "pretty skin" effect. If I liked my hairstyle the day before, I would fix it up the same way the next day. With this, I might add a little lipgloss. I'm not big on makeup, especialllyyyyy with my eczema, but a little makeup isn't a bad thing. I also began to put more effort into my outfits by planning them out better, and adding accessories. This way, slowly, you learn what kinds of things work for you and bring out your best features. By being able to look in the mirror and like what you see is a tremendous confidence booster. It's about doing your best to knock out as many physical insecurities that you have about yourself. Not everything can be changed, and i'm not saying go get plastic surgery or anything, but little changes really do help. I was born with a twisted leg, but I focus on my other good physical points so that it bothers me less. Focus on improving what you can so that you don't let physical differences put you down.
3) Inner Beauty - If you can point out what's good about you on the outside, what about the inside? Think about those good things that make you...you. I'm a humorous person, so that's a strong point about me. Kyle mentioned just yesterday about how I am able to make jokes about myself. I know how to laugh at myself if that situation arises, or make a joke about myself if i see room for one. I'm also honest...some may say that i'm brutally honest...probably true. But I see it as a strong point because so many people ask me for advice or for my opinion and know that they're not going to get a false or sugar-coated answer. Things like this are what make me, me. Think about your inner qualities that are good. Just thinking about them can help boost your confidence because it reminds you that you're special, and have natural gifts. You could even take things a step further, and seek out friends who share similar qualities, even if it's just on the internet.
4) Be Thankful - Okay...so your life isn't perfect. Whose is? So...you've had a very hard life? Well, you've prevailed. If you suspect that things that have happened to you are whats holding you back, you must let them go. They're in the past, this is your present. If you're in a good relationship, have awesome friends, a job, a good skill, a fun hobby? Anything like this is something to be grateful for. Sit down and think or write out a list every now and then about what has happened recently that you have to be thankful for. This will help to remind you that your life isn't completely full of bad things. And if you honestly can't think of anything good going for you right now, then get up and start a hobby. You can go to the gym and work out a few times a week, you can go help out at shelters and schools, pick up fishing, hiking, building model airplanes or make paper dolls... Well hey, you're in Second Life; start building, or join a club and start working. Try and remember that, most likely, something good is in your life, you just have to remember what those things are.
5) Whoops! Oh well. - Not all mistakes can be dismissed...if you did something to piss off the love of your life and he/she leaves you, that's not the easiest to shrug off...But, some things are easy to shrug off. If my blog photos don't turn out the best, I just tell myself "better luck next time". I don't sweat it. Don't get me wrong; I love this blog with my heart and soul, but I will not let it stress me out too much. I know that i'm not perfect, but that's okay. No one is. This sort of goes hand in hand with "being thankful". If I mess up on a set of blog photos for an entry, I remind myself that the last entry or one before it was wonderful, and that i'm not perfect so every picture won't turn out the same. If you messed up on something not major, let it go. You're not a total failure because of a little slip-up. Remember those things that you're thankful for in your life; those things that are going good for you.
6) Make Believe - Last but not least, it is more than okay to pretend like you have self confidence. This step was pretty big for me too. I acted like I had more self confidence that I really had. No, I didn't act like some over-confident jerk, but I also made the effort to let go of my shyness, and tried to open up to people more. I even admit that i'm still not the best in this area, but i'm getting better all the time. By acting like you have confidence, it can trick the brain into thinking you have said confidence. You'll start to become comfortable with having self confidence, and start to become comfortable being you. If you're willing to give this a try, it also may help if you know someone who tends to know a lot of people. Kyle knows a nice amount of people, so he's like my wing-man. Because I go places with him, if he sees someone he knows he'll introduce them to me. I then radiate my confidence to try and knock away some of my shyness, and well..I've gained a few friends thanks to him and my effort. Please don't confuse this with trying to be said friend. It's important to be YOU. If you find yourself defining you with what you see your friend in, or the way he or she behaves, that's just copying. If they have their hair a certain way/color, have a certain taste in accessories, or a certain overall style..yes it may work for them, and people may love them for it, but it's important to find your own style. No one wants someone else trying to be them. So make believe yes, but come up with your own style
Regaining and maintaining self confidence isn't easy, trust me. And no, it's not going to happen over night. But remember that little changes can lead to big changes. Try adding these steps to your daily routine, try talking about your self confidence issues with a therapist or a close friend or family member. You loosing your self confidence probably wasn't your fault, but no one but you can get it back. I know plenty of people who think that they can find self confidence if they have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or just plain friends to tell them they're attractive and compliment them, or think that substance abuse is the way to go. These things will just delay you on your path to self confidence, and usually tend to do more harm than good. Love you first, inside and out, as much as possible. You have to stand on your own two feet. Work on a better you.
- Inuoko Shikami \o/
Hair: [Yulicie] - Elegance - Dark Brown [X]
Dress: .Mes Sucreries. - Ma Jolie Robe - Rainbow [X]
Skin: *MY UGLYDOROTHY - Mimi base(Cream)
Hairbase: Exile - Hairbase: Mink
Eyeliner: .:Acid & Mala:. - Black Eyeliner - Asia
Lipgloss: :Pestle & Twig: Hot Pink Shiny Lip Gloss Rare *Gatcha*
Nails: [*Rotten Defiance*]*Nailed-Sunset Summer Nails *Perfect Wardrobe*
Create A SLer (Outfit):
Headband: (TokiDoki) - side headband (2)
Necklace: Candy Bomb - Ice cream necklace yellow
Necklace: [EY:NO] - Filigran String Necklace (silver)
Necklace: [EY:NO] - Color Beads Necklace (cream) gold *Gatcha*
Bracelet: [EY:NO] - Color Beads Bracelet (multi) gold *Gatcha*
Bracelet: [EY:NO] - Color Beads Bracelet (pink) silver *Gatcha*
Ring: Schadenfreude - Dark Chocolate Bonbon Topped Heart Ring *Gatcha*
Ring: Schadenfreude - Waffles Ring *Gatcha*
Shoes: - CHANDELLE - - Shoe Heart. yellow
PS: Happy 100th Post! \o/